Marisol should establish clearly defined rules and boundaries to manage that type of behavior. Marisol needs to find appropriate consequences for her son’s behavior. I would suggest taking things away like TV time or a game or toy the child really enjoys playing with. Marisol also needs to practice safe boundaries – doing safe therapy like holding the child at a distance. Putting her arms physically around the child so he’s not aggressive.

When kids engage in disruptive behavior, the child is behaving that way just to seek attention. There’s some type of reward they are seeking because of that behavior. To prevent disruptive behavior, it’s really important for both parents and child care providers to set consistent rules and structure at home and at school. When there’s not consistent structure, that’s when the child becomes disruptive. For instance, make sure naps and meals occur during the same time every day.

With young children, I recommend parents and providers work hand-in-hand to make sure they’re talking to each other consistently. If a parent is taking away a toy or removing a child from a disruptive situation, the child care provider should be too. If the child is unable to be managed, it’s up to the parent to consult with someone. Maybe the child has a language problem or ADD. Maybe there’s something going on at home, such as a new move, a new sibling or a death in the family.

When managing disruptive behavior, it’s important to take control of the situation right away. The adult should address the child right away. Let them know the behavior isn’t appropriate. With younger kids, delayed disciplining is imperative. The parent needs to speak to the child and behavior right away. If the child is being disruptive, you might give the child a warning. You might give them a number of warnings. After the third try, let them know there’s no reading books tonight.

It’s very important for parents to understand the reasons for the child’s disruptive behavior. Not every child has the verbal communication to say what’s going on in their lives. Some kids may have language delays or some kids may not be as vocal. They may not be able to say, “I’m in a bad mood because Johnny took my toy.” Parents need to recognize this by communicating with teachers and therapists.

Its’ also important for parents to recognize non-disruptive behavior. I encourage parents to find things to praise kids for. Provide frequent praise for good behavior. It’s important for child care providers and parents to stop, look and listen.

To prevent disruptive behavior, before we go anywhere, I tell my daughter what behavior is expected of her. I tell her, no yelling, no running and no whining. She must listen to Mommy. If she is misbehaving, I start by giving her a warning that if she continues we will leave. I have to make sure that I follow through with it, though. If I say we are going to leave and she misbehaves, then I have to do it no matter how difficult it is. I try to prevent outbursts by making it interesting for her when we are out, like having her help me shop for certain items. That way she feels like she’s participating and she’s entertained.

One thing I’ve learned from being a mother and now a grandma is that children are complex creatures that come with all of the emotions and feelings from the moment they are born. They sometimes don’t act the way adults want them to, and we must understand them with patience. A child that behaves badly needs to be told that what he or she is doing is wrong. A child observes everything at home. If he or she sees something, they’ll imitate it. That explains why children can be violent and don’t behave well – they see these things occurring at home. I talk to my little grandson with love and treat him with a lot of patience so I explain to him why I don’t like him doing things that are bad.

My first suggestion to Marisol would be to be consistent with her form of discipline. If you say that you’re going to do something, follow through with it. Another thing I would do if a child is misbehaving is to remove them from the negative situation. Try to redirect their attention. I believe in always trying to prevent misbehavior. So when a child is misbehaving there is a mental checklist to see what could be the root of the problem. Ask yourself: Is he hungry? Does he need to sleep? Why is he misbehaving? Is there a need that needs to be filled? Pay attention to making sure you are catching clues before they throw a tantrum and set clear expectations of acceptable behavior.